The Reasons, My Anonymous
by TheyCallMeCyclone
Summary: Draco finds an anonymous heartfelt confession, but who’s it from? With a hole in his heart and people after him for his good looks, will he be able to handle the truth of his anonymous? M eventually; slash you were warned! .
1. Prologue: Letter

Disclaimer: I am but a lowly human that cannot compete with the awesomeness that is J.K. Rowling.

Draco sat back with a soft sigh, looking away from the waiting owl, and reread the poem that had been sent to him just a few minutes ago.

Dear Draco,

The reason I love you  
the reason I care  
the reason you hurt me?  
Guess I wouldn't dare!

The reason that I'm hurting  
the tears haven't dried  
I can still feel  
all those tears I have cried

The reason I can't get past it  
after such a long while  
is seeing you still  
makes my heart race a mile

The reason I'm lonely  
even when surrounded by friends  
is that when it comes to you...  
my love comes with no ends

- Anonymous

Ever since Potter had killed Voldemort in the final Battle, Draco had become more agreeable and pleasant. While he still held up cold and stony demeanor, Draco no longer picked fights or bullied people as much as he did when he had certain images to uphold. Maybe this was because he always picked fights with Potter, and Potter was no longer an option.  
"Harry..." The name just rolled off his tongue. It was true, Draco Malfoy had fallen in love with Harry Potter..., and he could never know. Draco knew that Harry would never look at him with anything over than hate. Maybe this is why this letter meant so much to him. Someone loved him. Someone he had hurt. But despite this fact, someone loved him.  
Suddenly, Draco sat up with a fire in his eyes. He looked up at the beautiful creature sitting in the window seal, quietly waiting. Draco whipped out parchment and a quill, quickly writing a reply, before sending the owl back the where it had come.

Anonymous,  
The owlery, midnight?  
-D


	2. Chapter 1: Heartbreak

A/N: I realized that this story may actually have a chance so I am going to start working on it again. I'd like to apologize for the extremely long wait and say that I actually have a plan, so if the chapters are a little short or they seem a little slow bare with me. I may go back and put this all under one chapter but I want to see where this goes and how people take it. This story is unbeta-ed, **none epilogue compliant**, and I warn that updates aren't going to be like daily, but I'll try to finish before summer is over. Review please and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated! -Kaila aka Cyclone :)  
And a P.S. I'm typing this up on a blackberry so the format may look weird, but bare with me (insanely long A/N over)

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He walked up the stairs to the owlery in a cold sweat. Although Draco Malfoy had changed after the war, he was still Draco Malfoy. What if he didn't show up? Or worse what if he showed up and just laughed at the sight of him? Dread pooled in the pit of his stomach.

The boy stood at the door to the owlery willing for a calm to wash over him. Finally, Anonymous opened the door, shocked to see the silhouette of his thoughts sitting in one of the large windows. He gasped quietly as the figure had yet to notice him, but making out that his silhouette was not alone. The fact was confirmed as a soft stuttering voice filtered throughout the tower. "....You?"

He looked away from the scene facing him only allowing one tear drop to fall before furiously scrubbing at his face and eyes. He would not cry for Draco Malfoy, not today and not ever.

Harry was not the only one heartbroken and disappointed. On the other side of the owlery Draco had sat stroking his Spotted Eagle-owl, the note clutched in his unoccupied hand. His heart was racing, his hands were shaking, and a cold sweat was chilling his spine. Who could Anonymous be?

He loosened his death grip, abandoning his stroking to smooth out the paper like a precious artifact that had been trampled on. His owl hooted for attention, but his eyes had glazed over as he sat studying the hand writing. It looked familiar, but he could not place it himself.

It was during times like these he wished he had told Pansy. She was good at scoping out information on people, though for admittedly more devious reasons. Such was a skill that Draco had not mastered, preferring to hire someone else to do the dirty work. This time however, Draco could bring himself to tell his oldest female friend of his secret admirer. She didn't understand his changing after the war, couldn't see how people's sneers at him cut him. All Draco wanted was someone to love him, someone he could hold. And even if Pansy could understand that part, Draco didn't want to see the pity on her face if it all fell through.  
He could have asked Blaise, Draco thought briefly. But Blaise would over analyze everything, always too cautious to go into anything. They all would have graduated by the time that Blaise's plan came to fruition. The thought that they were due to graduate this year, forced to set out into a world still filled with prejudice and naivety even after the arrival of peace did nothing to help slow Draco's flitting heart. Draco forced such thoughts out of his mind, thinking of Blaise's own "secret" desire. Blaise had been in love with Pansy since they were children; he'd been planning their first date since second year. Draco smiled fondly.  
A sound in the stair well, like someone crashing, startled Draco out of his musings. He sat tensely waiting for Anonymous to show their face. Slowly, the figure that appeared in the doorway began to progress towards the center of the owlery where most of the light filter in to. The sight of black hair had his heart stopped, before a heavily curved figure came into sight. Draco gave a mental sigh preparing to let her down gently, and if that didn't work to break out the Malfoy intimidation.

He looked up into the face of Anonymous and was met with shocking blue eyes. They were full of shock with a variety of emotions swirling just beneath the surface. Dread swelled like bile from the pit of Draco's stomach. Somehow he knew that this girl would be the end of end.

".... You.... You came." She whispered sweetly. "Draco I-"

He cut her off, not wanting to prolong this. A flash of yellow and black gave him his motivation. "This isn't going to work."

She face fell a little before she started again with renewed energy. "Draco, you don't understand, I want to get to know you- though I feel as if I already know everything about you. I want to complete you-"

"You don't know me! And I am not incomplete!"

She ignored his protests, continuing on as if he hadn't interrupted her. "-I want to comfort you, I want to love you!" She reached out, and Draco realized he'd had to go to extremes to get his point across. If only Anonymous had been… Draco cut off his hopeful thoughts to refocus on the task at hand.

"Listen, I am Draco Malfoy. You do not know me, you cannot complete me, and I could never love- or would ever be seen- with a Hufflepuff. So go back to your common room, tell all your little friends what a jerk I am and how stupid you were to ever even think of liking me, and I'll forget you ever attempted such an idiotic pursuit."The girl ran sobbing from the room, leaving Draco with a heavy heart and unfulfilled desires.  
The next day Harry Potter awoke with an ache in his heart and lead on his eyelids. He groaned out a curse that the sun should rise only a few hours after he had managed to actually fall asleep. Green eyes blankly stared at the red and gold canopy overhead.

"How stupid of me…" And that was the end of his wallowing. He got up and ready for the day. He talked with friends about the newest listen-or-die gossip, passed notes during classes he really should have been paying attention in, and smiled and laughed at all the appropriate- and inappropriate- times. If his smile was a little bit stiffer and his laugh a little bit staler than usual, then who should notice given all of his normal, happy behavior? Too bad the calm facade couldn't withstand pressure of a confrontation with one Draco Malfoy.

It was just after potions. After the war Snape had lightened with the pressure of being two people in one body gone. However, he still did not like one Harry Potter, for he was the spitting image of his childhood tormentor and the man who had stolen the love of his life. Harry exited the classroom into the labyrinth of the dungeons a little more drained than before, but excited that he had a free period next. His uplifting thoughts were cut short when he bumped into a wall. Bag sprawled out and ink staining the dungeon floor, Harry cursed his inattentiveness shocked and disbelieving that he could have walked into a wall of all things. He sat up to collect his things feeling a little dafter than before when a groan forced its way into his consciousness. Understanding set in as he realized that wall was actually a person who was now laid out on the floor next to him. He felt a little better realizing he in fact hadn't ran into a wall, before scrambling up to offer apologies and a hand.

The words died on his lips as he took in the sight of Draco Malfoy propped up in a sitting position on one hand, rubbing his head with the other, and a brunette Hufflepuff kneeling down to offer whiny words of support and an arm to clutch around one of his biceps.


	3. Chapter 2: Betrayal

A/N: Gahh, I have been working hard on smoothing out my plot and getting this chapter out. I have also redone the first chapter (not the prologue). I appreciate everyone adding this story to their alerts, but I am a little disappointed that these people aren't reviewing. How am I going to know how I'm doing if you guys don't review? :// REVIEW PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE so I know I am not a complete failure!

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Recognition dawned on his face at the same time as confusion. Draco Malfoy looked up into the face of his female companion kneeling by his side to the face of Harry Potter standing over him. Potter stood frozen staring at the brunette and she gazed back at him in innocence. Draco stood up with Kathryn still holding on tightly to his arm.

"Potter...?" Draco question, immediately regretting speaking as the spell that connected the other two was broken and Potter's bright green eyes shifted.

Harry turned his sharp gaze unto him and Draco had to hold in the gasp that tried to break free. Hurt? Betrayal? Longing? Those emotions and more swirled together into one expression that was heartbreakingly passionate, almost as he if was willing Draco to understand what he did not yet know.

"Draco, let's go babe" Kathryn simpered, her eyes shifting wide and innocent to his as she tried to pull him along. Harry snorted and muttered under his breath.

"Got something to say Potter?" Draco snarled. His happiness was his own, what gave Harry the right to question that? She loved him. She loves him. Draco swallowed then blinked to cover the emotions welling in his throat and itching at his eyes.

Harry didn't back down, his hurt and pain bubbling to the surface. "Yea, I do. Has the great Draco Malfoy sunken so low he has the meet the whore of Hufflepuff in the owlery after curfew?"

Draco's deep gray eyes flashed silver before the Malfoy smirk settled over his features. His voice, low, carried a dangerous tone as he answered slowly. "Following me, Potter? Just for future reference, the war is over and the only thing on my mind now is shagging. If you'd like next time you can stay and watch; tonight as it were. Merlin knows no one would ever touch you. Kathryn." Head held high, Draco pushed past Harry ignoring the hurt expression that had set over his features and the weight setting at the bottom of his stomach, Kathryn following after him in response to his beckoning.

"Baby, you shouldn't have said that; I want you all to myself tonight" Kathryn's smug voice carried back to Harry and his face crumpled and his shoulders shook. Draco glanced back briefly, sad and confused.

Harry trudged back to the common room at three in the morning having escaped to the room of requirement just after dinner. He had sat thinking back to the look in her eyes. He was confused, but even more so he was angry. He had put his trust into someone that was an outcast, someone he thought was like him; he had told his deepest darkest secrets as if to the pages of a diary and had been comforted that his dreams and desires could in fact become a reality.

He was a fool, he realized. Harry Potter, always too trusting, always feeling the need to save everyone from everything. Who was going to save him now? He was betrayed, used, then tossed away, his only shot for happiness torn away from him. The tears started up again and Harry furiously wiped them away.

"Harry." A gentle voice filtered into consciousness. Hermione sat forward in her chair near the fire, her gaze sad and understanding. Harry looked away unable to bare the thought of confiding in anyone else- how could he force himself to repeat the words that came from the bottom of his very soul, the words so carelessly used against him for the advancement of another?

A soft rustling sound alerted him to her movement as he had yet to look up at her. She gently took hold of his hand and led him to a small couch by the fire. "Harry," her soft voice broke, "it's okay to love him."

Harry gasped looking up into her large brown eyes, tears lacing his long, thick eye lashes. How had she known? She remained silent allowing him to turn his attention to the roaring fire while she rested a hand on his forearm.

Sometime later Harry's quiet voice rang out in the heavy silence. "Hermione, what am I going to do?" Her gaze met his and he began talking.

A pair of sad blue eyes turned back to the dormitories leaving the two by the fire to their conversation.

Meanwhile Draco was sleeping. Despite his taunts to Potter of his passion filled nights, the highlights were usually the dreams filled with flashes of inky black hair and bright green eyes.

The next day Harry avoided him at all costs, remaining politely detached if forced into confrontation. When he went back to his room during his break he was at a loss of what to do. Taking out the letter, Draco reread it for the thousandth time. He gave a pause, studying the handwriting, his eyes narrowing to slits.

"Draco darling, your Hufflepuff whore- I mean your not-so-secret admirer is here," sneered Pansy from the open doorway. Draco turned his slitted gaze to her, and she met him head on. You don't become one of Draco Malfoy's best friends by backing down.

At the common room entrance Draco was met with the sight of his glaring girlfriend, her arms weighted down with books and parchment. Upon seeing him her expression quickly switched to that of adoration.

"Draco! I was wondering if you could help me with my potions essay. I know it's due today but... I thought a study session would be in order anyways since you weren't feeling too well last night." And although Draco was disgusted by the thought of touching her, a Hufflepuff nonetheless his mind unhelpfully added, he couldn't wait on Harry forever.

Draco ended practically writing her essay as her fingers danced across his waist crooning in his ear that they were going to be late, though she continued on with her lascivious actions. He recalled in irritation her attempting to climb on his lap as he was trying to explain the only potions related question she had asked since she had entered the room.. He allowed her to touch him, push him back on the bed as he looked down at her bowed head hovering over his boxer line. Her hair ran black through his fingers making it easy to pretend. His eyes slipped close, green flashed behind his eyelids and he exploded with Anonymous's name on his lips. He breathed a shaky sigh and looked down into glaring blue eyes disappointment welling in the pit of his stomach.

He later walked into to class flanked by Pansy and Blaise with a Hufflepuff attached to his hip. Potions consisted of mostly Gryffindors and Slytherins, but a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were scattered around the room.

The three walked to their usual table, lucky that no one ever bothered to attempt to sit near them, allowing Kathryn to take the remaining seat. The rest of the class watched on with growing interest towards the newly formed quartet. Professor Snape's loud banging entrance halted any whispers.

"Class, today you will work in partnered pairs of my choosing." The class gave a mental sigh of disappointment. "Granger, Zabini; Parkinson, Thomas; Malfoy, Potter; Finnigan, Patil..."Snape's voice droned on, but neither Harry nor Hermione were paying any attention as they readied themselves to scramble towards Malfoy's table.

Seated next to their respective partners, their eyes met with a slight nod of their heads. Harry was polite, and Draco obliged his continued detachment. Harry copied down the notes from the board before volunteering to get the necessary ingredients, strategically leaving his notes in plain view. As he left, the wind from his exit swept the parchment to the floor. Narrowed blue eyes followed its descent.

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P.S. I will occasionally go and change certain things in previous chapters, either to better them or to make my plot line more cohesive, so read the A/N to know when I have done so and just keep your eyes open!


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